hey guys,
The last 2 days have been a whirlwind of emotions as my grandpa had a stroke and doctors have said he isn't going to make it. He's on life support as I write this and my grandma is waiting for us before she signs to take him off life support. :( So the family (more like the Ark) is going to New York to say goodbye and whatnot. I didn't even feel like writing this but I guess it's okay to talk it about it and lay it all out on the table. It's so hard to know someone you love is dying, but its even harder knowing you have to let them go. I cried all day today and I'm about to start crying now...mom says its okay to cry, but I hate crying. My eyes get puffy and red, my nose runs like an Olympic runner and I shake more than an earthquake.
I've already decided I'm getting a tattoo eventually but I don't know what of. Something so I always have a little piece of him with me everywhere I go..Im thinking an anchor or bird. Something that represents strength..I dunno yet.
My grandpa was a strong man, he had 3 kidney transplants and raised my dad and uncle, which probably wasn't an easy job if you see how my dad and uncle act... They have burping and farting wars, talk about cars, guns and other stuff that's just dumb. My grandpa also married my grandma, and I gotta tell you, she's a peach somedays but others she isn't...I don't know how he put up with her, but he did, and they always made it work.
Grandpa wasn't always the nicest, but that was mostly because he was always in the hospital for dialysis and on meds, but he still loved and was loved. It feels like there's an empty place in my heart now. No more birthday cards signed "love pop-pop Butler," and no more phone calls from that energetic voice saying "Hey Sammy!" They say only the good die young and its true, because my grandpa was only 52.
Sorry if I made anyone sad from reading that, I teared up a lot but yeah. I just needed to throw this out there. I don't usually like to talk about how I feel, I like to write it out. I guess I don't have much more to say except that its going to be a long ride to New York, shoved in a mini van with 2 whiny kids who have small bladders and loud mouths.... a.k.a my siblings whom I love very much, just not right now.
I'll try and post pics of the cities and other things when I go through the states. I haven't been to the east coast in 7 years so it's a little exciting knowing I get to go through Chicago and Minneapolis again. (: Ah well..that's about it, people are texting me left and right so I'm must go now.
-<3Sammy
The last 2 days have been a whirlwind of emotions as my grandpa had a stroke and doctors have said he isn't going to make it. He's on life support as I write this and my grandma is waiting for us before she signs to take him off life support. :( So the family (more like the Ark) is going to New York to say goodbye and whatnot. I didn't even feel like writing this but I guess it's okay to talk it about it and lay it all out on the table. It's so hard to know someone you love is dying, but its even harder knowing you have to let them go. I cried all day today and I'm about to start crying now...mom says its okay to cry, but I hate crying. My eyes get puffy and red, my nose runs like an Olympic runner and I shake more than an earthquake.
I've already decided I'm getting a tattoo eventually but I don't know what of. Something so I always have a little piece of him with me everywhere I go..Im thinking an anchor or bird. Something that represents strength..I dunno yet.
My grandpa was a strong man, he had 3 kidney transplants and raised my dad and uncle, which probably wasn't an easy job if you see how my dad and uncle act... They have burping and farting wars, talk about cars, guns and other stuff that's just dumb. My grandpa also married my grandma, and I gotta tell you, she's a peach somedays but others she isn't...I don't know how he put up with her, but he did, and they always made it work.
Grandpa wasn't always the nicest, but that was mostly because he was always in the hospital for dialysis and on meds, but he still loved and was loved. It feels like there's an empty place in my heart now. No more birthday cards signed "love pop-pop Butler," and no more phone calls from that energetic voice saying "Hey Sammy!" They say only the good die young and its true, because my grandpa was only 52.
Sorry if I made anyone sad from reading that, I teared up a lot but yeah. I just needed to throw this out there. I don't usually like to talk about how I feel, I like to write it out. I guess I don't have much more to say except that its going to be a long ride to New York, shoved in a mini van with 2 whiny kids who have small bladders and loud mouths.... a.k.a my siblings whom I love very much, just not right now.
I'll try and post pics of the cities and other things when I go through the states. I haven't been to the east coast in 7 years so it's a little exciting knowing I get to go through Chicago and Minneapolis again. (: Ah well..that's about it, people are texting me left and right so I'm must go now.
-<3Sammy
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